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Pastor: Rev. Mark Chester
Sunday Services: Sunday School: 9:15 a.m.
Worship Service: 10:30 a.m.
Telephone: Office: 519-
OLDER YEARS CAN BE GOLDEN YEARS
(Written by Rowland Croucher for the International Year of the Older Person)
Grey hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life. (Proverbs 16:31)
Even to your old age I am he, even when you turn grey I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save. (Isaiah 46:4)
Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces
hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our
hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-
Old age is, without question, one of the most difficult and challenging of life's
stages of growth and development. If you ask people the benefits of getting older,
often they won't be able to list any. Actually, 'growing old' is a contradiction
in terms: you really cannot grow old; you can only grow new! The Apostle Paul wrote
about the importance of putting off the old self, and being renewed, clothed with
a new self (Ephesians 4: 22-
Here's some time-
1. There is a future -
The founder of the Hebrew nation, Abraham, did not come on to the world scene until he was 75 years old. Moses was 80 when he led the Israelites out of Egypt& Asked which one of his works he would select as his masterpiece, architect Frank Lloyd Wright, at the age of 83, replied, "My next one".
In a television interview, a 87-
A magazine, Australian Cultural History (No. 14, 1995) devoted an issue to ageing. On the cover is a picture of an old man attached by a harness to a younger man. The old man is goggled and grinning, and his arms are stretched out like a bird. There are clouds below him. 'We would like to thank,' reads the caption, 'Mr Reg Hitch for supplying a photograph of his first experience of parachuting at the age of 83!'
2. There is a ministry just for you!
Years ago, an annoyed senior citizen from Richmond Heights, Missouri, hung up on
President Reagan, who was trying to call him. This happened not just once, but half
a dozen times! He did not believe the operator when she insisted that the White House
was calling. He was so sure it was a prank that he did not stay on the line. But
the South-
God is calling you!
3. Keep a schedule -
It should be regular, but not rigid. Have a regular time of devotion -
4. Intimate friendships are still important. How can we get along with those we live with? Oscar Wilde believed that ' other people are quite dreadful; the only possible society is oneself.' Wrong, Oscar, and sad. (There is more wisdom in something else he said: 'In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.') One older person said 'Growing older is a breeze. I don't have to do nuthin'. It just happens. Sure there are negative aspects, like the aches and pains, but that even helps my social life. We all hurt all over, so the subject matter is endless.'
5. Set some new goals.
Geriatric psychiatrist Charles Wells M.D., when approaching 60, wrote himself a series of short letters about how to act and to deal with the inevitable changes of advancing age. The book is called Dear Old Man: Letters to Myself on Growing Old. It's a good book. Ageing, he wrote, has its rewards as well as its difficulties, and that, faced squarely, it can offer us new opportunity for growth and spiritual development. The one object, the one good thing left for old age, he writes, is to mellow those aspects of behaviour one has neglected, to bring to fruition the values of a good life. 'We can and must learn to be more temperate, more courteous, more forgiving& So take advantage of your age. Tell yourself that you really have no reason to do all those things that have grown unimportant to you. Take time to enjoy the new freedom of old age.'
6. Think about death and dying (but don't get preoccupied with it!).
One church ran a series of workshops: 'Having My Say for the End of My Stay'. The
dialogue began with an exploration of how best to begin preparation and planning
for the medical and physical realities of the 'death event' we will each inevitably
experience. Death is, after all, an event without which life is not 'whole' or complete.
Avoiding preparation and planning is either to pretend that death will not come to
us or to declare that we prefer to dump on someone else the task of dealing with
all the complexities and decisions about our mortal remains after our demise. It
is highly desirable early on to develop a personal philosophy and internalized view
of life which encompasses and embraces death not as an enemy, resented and feared,
but as a natural part of the ebb and flow of our multi-
7. Decide to be happy.
An older man said 'I even look better as I get older. I look good in anything I wear, cause I can't see too well. I don't worry about high fashion either. I buy what I like loose and baggy. I even simplified my will. I just took a piece of paper and wrote on it "Being of sound mind, I spent it all." I don't have to make big decisions any more. I just concern myself with what colour tennis shoes to wear to the wedding or whether McDonald's will sell me a "happy meal." I don't even have to wonder if my teeth are clean. I just take them out and look at them. I seem to have more fun as I get older. I can go to sleep in Church and people think I'm praying. I can hug a young lady and people will think I'm being grandfatherly. I have learned to laugh at myself and to appreciate the child within. That's where my dreams and imagination originate. Growing old has nothing to do with the number of years you have lived. I am only as old as my despair and as young as my faith. Some one said to me, "Don't ever grow up." My response, "Hey, I'm too old to grow up."'
8. Keep learning.
When President Roosevelt paid a call on Justice Holmes to congratulate him on his 92nd birthday, he was surprised to find him reading Plato. He was, he said, 'trying to improve my mind.' Don't be 'stuck where you were' spiritually. Jesus taught a parable about new wine needing to be put into fresh wineskins (Luke 5:38). One example: The forms of our Christian practice must change. In this parable of the garment and the wineskin, the garment and the wineskin are the external dress and the container, not the substance of our faith. They represent the religious customs, practices and traditions in which the substance of our faith is packaged. Jesus is stating a fact the garment needs mending and the old wineskin is old! What worked before may not be appropriate any more. Times change, and cultures change. But what doesn't change is the object of our faith. The reasoning behind resistance to change is obvious: 'I came to Christ singing that song,' or 'It worked for me. I don't see why it won't work for my children. We have to ask, 'Is it relevant today?'
Older people have served the church well: they supported the church financially,
and did all the work over the years to get us where we are. But there comes a time
when we 'hand over the reins' to (younger) others, and have to let them make their
mistakes -
I am often asked: Why is it that a good, Bible believing church which faithfully
carries out its ministry struggles to hold onto its young people, when down the street
a contemporary ministry rents a school building and has four times more young people
in a matter of months? Maybe the contemporary ministry relates to the young and their
style of music. There's nothing wrong with that, in principle. If we fail to provide
new wineskins, we will be ill-
# A woman married to an archaeologist was asked how it was working out. 'Oh it's good,' she said, 'the older I get the more interested he is in me!'
# A sprightly old lady loved making this speech: 'Remember us old folks are worth a fortune with silver in our hair, gold in our teeth, stones in our kidneys, lead in our feet and gas in our stomachs. .... The pastor came the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him. 'Oh, I do, all the time. No matter where I am; if I'm in the lounge room, upstairs, in the kitchen or down in the basement, I ask myself. What am I here after?'
# Rabbi Abraham Twersky tells a story about his great grandfather who was sitting with other rabbinical scholars studying the Talmud when it was decided to take a break for refreshments. One of the group offered to pay for the refreshments, but there was no one who volunteered to go for them. According to Twersky, in his book Generation to Generation, his great grandfather said, 'Just hand me the money, I have a young boy who will be glad to go.' After a rather extended period, he finally returned with the food, and it became obvious to all that the rabbi himself had gone on the errand. Noticing their discomfort, the rabbi explained: 'I didn't mislead you. You see, many outgrow their youth and become old men. I have never let the spirit of my youth depart. And as I grew older, I always took along with me that young boy I had been. It was that young boy who did the errand.'
DISCUSS:
1. Look up Ephesians 4: 22-
2. Share some experiences about the ministries available to older people -
3. Some people keep growing all their lives; some don't. What's the secret here?
4. Exchange some ideas about keeping a daily/weekly schedule.
5. Talk about friends: their value, and things you do with them.
6. Share with each other your short-
7. How do you each feel about death and dying? What will it be like, do you think?
How can we best prepare for death -
8. Why is change so hard for many older persons? How can we help one another -
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Experience is the sinking feeling you have made this mistake before.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
These are questions and answers taken down and now published by court reporters -
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-
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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
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Q. Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-
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Q: Mrs. Jamieson, were you present when your picture was taken?
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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
*****************************************
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this individual a male, or a female?
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Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All of them, all my autopsies are usually performed on dead people.
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Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample.
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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
Teachers, can you relate?
Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on?
He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."
She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off
than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked
to get the boots back on -
He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to.
Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-
She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
She said, "Now, where are your mittens?"
He said, "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots..."
Received from Beth McNabb.
An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.
"Well," said the farmer, "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns."
"Praise choruses," said his wife, "What are those?" "Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like hymns, only different," said the farmer.
"Well, what's the difference?" asked the wife. The farmer replied, "Well it's like this. If I were to say to you, 'Martha, the cows are in the corn,' well, that would be a hymn.
If, on the other hand, I was to say to you, 'Martha, Martha, Martha, Oh Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA, the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows, the white cows, the black and white cows, the COWS, COWS, COWS, are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn,' well, that would be a praise chorus."
Received from Merry Hearts mailing list.
-
Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golf ball. It sat in the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.
Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?" Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."
Received from You Make Me Laugh mailing list.
Pastor Allan supplied most of the following:
Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were excited and talkative about their future plans as they got into a taxi in downtown Boston. After hearing them for a couple of minutes, the cab driver asked, "You men Harvard graduates?" "Yes Sir! Class of '99!" they answered proudly. The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying, "Class of '58."
Doctors!
Actual Documentations Found in Patient Records:
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69-
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in ER, she was examined, x-
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Men think computers should be referred to as female, just like ships, because:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, I'm certainly not going to tell you."
4. Your smallest mistakes are stored in long-
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheque on accessories for it.
Women think computers should be referred to as male. Here's why:
1. They have a lot of data, but they are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one, you realize if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. A big power surge will knock them out for the rest of the night.
Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.
There are many other related Laws, as well. Here are some:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. -
Identical parts aren't. -
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner -
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come. -
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. -
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
-
There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
-
Handy Guide to Modern Science:
1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology.
2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.
Machines should work. People should think.
-
The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they
can do the least damage -
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. -
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
-
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next
morning you will have a flat tire. -
Thinly sliced cabbage. -
There was a Scottish tradesman, a painter called Jack, who was very interested in making a pound where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time.
Eventually the Presbyterian Church decided to do a big restoration job on one of their biggest churches. Jack put in a painting bid and because his price was so competitive, he got the job. And so he set to, with a right good will, erecting the trestles and putting up the planks, and buying the paint and...yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with the turpentine.
Well, Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly done, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder. The sky opened and the rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over the church and knocking Jack far off the scaffold to land on the lawn.
Now, Jack was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he fell on his knees and cried, "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?" And from the thunder, a mighty Voice spoke, "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"
Today's Stock Market Report
Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. The market for raisins dried up. Coca Cola fizzled. Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Sun peaked at midday. Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
-
A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting. "How are we faring?" asks the king. "Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west." "What?!?" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!" "Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now."